Today's reunion was nothing special neither was it a happy one. We reunited, arranged by Him, at Death's mercy. It was not expected, truly, it was too surreal, like a nightmare although I was not one of the main characters.
It was too much I can hold if I were to have to switch shoes with Ummi. To have the place I am clearly hanging onto with all the fibre of my being replace by nothing is really something I am not ready to face. Ummi's dad went to meet his Creator yestermorning. While we were all asleep and on bed, some might even be dreaming, he went to meet Him, leaving Ummi, her sister and her mum.
I got the message when I was sleeping. From Mary, Nisa and Nadh. How fast news circulate these days. We went to visit the family, to give our condolences and to be there for her, in case she needs us, who knows.
It finally dawned on me that it might happen to me. It might and might not be anytime soon, but it can surely happen to me. And I am not ready. I am not ready at all. The first time I lost Angah, I wished it was the last time I will lose somebody, anybody at all. I am just not good with goodbye and missing people. I keep worrying. I know I have to tell myself to be strong and whatnots and I am sure Ummi is trying to hide an aching heart under that serene face.
I know how strong she is, we all know how strong she is. But I know that she knows we are all here for her. Though we might not be meeting anytime soon, we're just a phone call away, a bus and an mrt away. We're near and we're here. I love you Ummi, even after countless times telling you this, please be strong. Please, please tell me when things are not okay, The ears are always ready to listen and the shoulder is ready to be cried on. Best wishes to you. I hope and pray that your dad is amongst the mu'minin. I hope and pray that He will forgive all of your dad's sins. I hope and pray that he will lighten your family's burden. I hope and pray that your dad's deeds will bring him to Jannah, insyaAllah, together with the auliya' and syuhada' and the prophets. Amin amin amin.
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